


we can't keep running away from who we are

by ScottieIsImpatient



Category: Murdoch Mysteries
Genre: M/M, Spoilers, The Philately Fatality, im so happy!!, s13 ep6, watts is confirmed gay!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 16:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21323248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScottieIsImpatient/pseuds/ScottieIsImpatient
Summary: A continuation of "The Philately Fatality".Wanting to understand his feelings, Watts enters Jack Walker's apartment and the two start talking.(Title from "Everyone is Gay" by A Great Big World)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	we can't keep running away from who we are

**Author's Note:**

> Just a couple of pages of what I like to imagine happened after Watts entered Walker's apartment. They just talk, and mAYbe a spark happens

He wasn’t sure exactly when he started crying, but he made no move to wipe the tears away, letting them roll down his cheeks as he stood dumbly outside the door. _ I should probably go in, _he thought, taking a deep breath. After all, he didn’t want to seem rude.

Jack Walker’s apartment was small yet homely, not unlike his own. It smelled of smouldering fire.

Watts took one step, then another, glancing around nervously. He felt out of place. He felt like he didn’t belong. _Perhaps, _the detective thought, _I would be better off just turning around and going home._

But Mr. Walker, Jack, was staring at him expectantly, and Watts found he _couldn’t _go back. 

Instead, he offered a smile and closed the door behind him.

“Nice place,” he commented, sniffling. Walker cracked a friendly smile. “It’s not much, but at least it’s a roof over my head.”

“I like the, uh, floor,” Watts blurted out, pointing to the wood boards under his feet. “Oak, right?”

“Um, I’m afraid I wouldn’t know.” Jack shrugged, chuckling a bit. Watts nodded a bit too enthusiastically. “Uh-huh, uh-huh.”

There was a brief moment of awkward silence. Watts shuffled his feet.

“Would you like to sit down, detective?” Jack offered, pulling out one of the dining table chairs.

“Oh, you can just call me Llewellyn.” It seemed only fair.

Mr. Walker smiled. “Would you like to sit down, Llewellyn?”

“Uh, certainly.”

As Jack went to steep some tea, Watts sat in the main room, wringing his hands. His mind was all over the place; his stomach churning. He’d come to thank the young man but in reality, there was a bigger reason than that.

He wanted to know how to hide it.

“Here you are,” Jack said, coming back in with two cups of tea in his hands. He set one down in front of Watts then sat himself down on the opposite chair, taking a sip. “Made it just as you asked; three sugars. If you ask me, you should up it to four.”

“Sugar is magnificent,” was all Watts could think of saying. His brain had gone numb. All words had flown from his mind.

Jack chuckled, setting his teacup down on the saucer. “So, Llewellyn,” he began, “I assume this visit is not a workplace obligation.”

“No,” Watts admitted, “it is not.” A pause. “This is more of a, uh, personal matter.”

“You want to know how to, shall I say, handle it,” Jack answered immediately, reading the detective’s mind. Watts’ gaze shot up to meet the man’s, whose eyes were sparkling with mischief. Had they always been this mesmerizing?

“Handle… it?” Watts repeated, wanting to be sure they were speaking of the same thing.

“Your feelings. You want to know how to handle your feelings.”

Watts blinked. “Yes,” he said. “How did you-?”

“It’s just something that we tend to know.” Jack gave a casual shrug. “Perhaps we sense it. That’s how you knew about us, isn’t it? That’s why you went against your Inspector’s orders and let me out for that hour?”

_Had _that been why Watts had done what he did? He’d taken it as merely a gut feeling, but perhaps there had been more to it.

“I-I don’t know.” He sighed. “Honestly, I am just… greatly confused. I don’t know _how _these feelings came to be, or why, or what I can do to suppress them.”

“Hey, slow down.” Jack reached across the table as if he wanted to hold his hand. “That is normal. That is exactly how I felt at first.”

“And, uh,” Watts blinked some fresh tears away. “How-how did you deal with it?”

“Oh, I didn’t,” Jack responded bluntly, smiling. “I stumbled my way through. Pretty much made things up as I went along. Almost gave myself away a few times, but fortunately, I’ve managed to keep this under wraps.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since I was a boy, maybe? My father was very against such feelings, so I never spoke a word to him about it. I thought maybe I was broken.”

_ I think the same thing, _Watts thought, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Until I found that I wasn’t the only one.” Jake smiled warmly. “It may not be legal, but there’s no denying that these feelings exist.”

Watts sighed, forcing a smile. “I wish things were different in the world.”

“Me too. I do not see that happening for some time, however.”

They settled into silence once more, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence like before. Watts stared at Jack, who gazed right back. Everything about the man just seemed… _ perfect. _His hair was a nice balance between messy and neat, and his eyes shone with happiness.

And Watts’ smile was no longer forced.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so happy that Watts was actually confirmed as gay, I'm going to cry :')


End file.
